Santacon Munich

Would you like to be part of Santacon in Munich?

You’re welcome as long as you follow a few rules:

• Santa is in for the fun of it!
• Santa looks like Santa. A Santa hat is not enough. Boots are good. Beards are essential. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Get creative: be a Secret Santa, a Sexy Santasaurus, a Reindeer. Just don’t wear your fucking jeans. (Cheap suits can be purchased on eBay, for less than 10€, usually.)
• Santa acts like Santa. Be jolly. Belly-laugh. Let people sit on your lap. Give out gifts. Hug passers-by.
• Santa doesn’t talk to the press. “Ho-ho-ho” is good. “Publicity ho” is lame.
• Santa doesn’t get arrested. Please remember the FOUR FUCKS:
  1. Don’t fuck with kids.
  2. Don’t fuck with cops.
  3. Don’t fuck with security.
  4. Don’t fuck with Santa. (yeah, it’s okay to fuck Santa)

Santa’s guidelines

It’s a long day, so be prepared. Here’s some tips to keep your sleigh running all day.

• Forget about bringing coal or brussels sprouts – Germans prefer the birch.
• Eat something & pace yourself.
• Only Santa is responsible for Santa’s ability to stay vertical for the many hours of Santacon.
• Dress warm. It’s winter. Wear layers so you’ll be comfortable anywhere from the North Pole to the strippers’ pole.
• Bring MVV tickets. Santa doesn’t like waiting for your sorry ass to use the machines.
• Stay hydrated.
• If you can’t stay hydrated, don’t puke in front ot the children – it rather spolis the image and they’ll have to spend years in therapy and it will all be your fault. There will be bar stops, but they can be short and crowded. You are responsible for your own inebriation.
• Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or otherwise deserve it). Really – If you see kids, give them nice toys, sweeties, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on the parents for adding to the population burden on the planet. Tourists fall somewhere in between the two — adjust depending on their attitude.
• You will get asked the same questions:
  “Why are you dressed like that?” — Because I’m Santa.
  “Why are you doing this?” — Because it’s Christmas!
  Feel free to hand out your business card to those that speak with you. If you don’t know what it should say on it then you haven’t been paying attention. Santa is happy to pose for photographs, and happier to unexpectedly gatecrash the shots that tourists have already set up with their friends.

At some time early afternoon of the announced date we will all gather at some place in Central Munich. Time and Place will be announced around noon the day before on this site.